As I go along my days I realize that I have to start acting as though I have already changed. I have to start believing that this change can happen. But I can't just sit idly by waiting for the change to finally come. I have to be actively working towards this new me. Like duh!
I've started exercising again as well. I really do love exercising. It makes me feel so much better about myself. I love exercising first thing in the morning too. I just wish it would help me eat better during the day. But most of the time it has the opposite effect on me. Geez, I exercised today I deserve to have this or that. That's not how it should work. In combination with good food, exercise could be an incredible tool. It is without the right foods. But with the right foods, holy cow you could become a well oiled machine.
Now that my kids are all in school I'm trying to stay even more active. Keep my mind and my hands busy. Get projects done around the house, de-clutter, pull weeds, make sure my mind and body is ready for the moment the kids step foot into the house.
I think this journey will be more about the steps it takes me to get to my destination, rather then the final destination itself. This is a journey of re-discovery and it's exciting. I've thought a lot about what my dreams are, what they use to be. Have they changed? And do I really have any dreams? Right now my job is to be a mother. And I love that. But I still have to remember to be working toward something for the day that they all finally leave. What will that "something" be? I don't want to get lost in translation.
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